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זוגות יקרים, זו עצה פשוטה – והיא מדעית:

אם אתם רוצים קשר טוב, אתם תצטרכו לפחות עשרים אינטראקציות חיוביות על כל אינטראקציה אחת שלילית בחיי היומיום שלכם. זה לא מסובך: רגעים קטנים של אמפתיה, רגעים פשוטים, מועילים בהרבה ממאמץ גדול לפתור קונפליקטים מתמשכים, שחלקם פשוט בלתי פתירים.

בני הזוג ג'ון וג'וּלי גוטמן הם פסיכולוגים ויועצי זוגיות, שהקימו בסיאטל מעבדת אהבה. הם טיפלו באלפי זוגות, וראו כבר ה־כל. במעבדה שלהם בוחנים בני הזוג גוטמן שפת גוף והיסטוריה אישית וזוגית, וגם נתונים כמו קצב הלב ורמת ההורמונים, בזמני קרבה ובשעת מריבה. על בסיס ניתוח אנליטי ואלפי שעות טיפול, נוצר גוף מידע המשלב בין חכמת הלב – והשכל, נוצרת "מפת האהבה" של הזוגיות.

אהבה זקוקה להרגלים קטנים ומיטיבים, מסבירים לנו הגוטמנים, "מיליון דברים זעירים, כל יום, לכל החיים". מה למשל? אמירת תודה, דיוק הרצונות וּויתור על הביקורת, מגע גופני שחיוני לנו כמו חמצן, תשומת לב למה שבני הזוג עושים בשבילנו או הצעות קטנות לבילוי משותף.

המתכון לאהבה פשוט וקל ליישום – אם תתמסרו לו; מרשם מפוכח לריפוי, שדורש התמדה.

"בני הזוג גוטמן הם החוקרים והמחנכים המובילים במדינה בתחום הנישואים."
- Time

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