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זהו סיפורה של ענת, הנמצאת בלב סערה פנימית, רגע לפני ולתוך משבר גיל ה-40. היא בת זוג, אמא, אשת מקצוע, והיא מתחילה לפקפק בכל מה שידעה על עצמה. בין היומיומי למודחק, בין שגרה מתפקדת לדחפים שמבקשים לפרוץ החוצה, היא נקרעת בין נאמנות לחיים שבנתה לבין כמיהה לחיים שטרם העזה לחיות.

זה סיפור על קונפליקט בין אידיאלים למציאות, בין הרגל לתשוקה, בין הגדרה עצמית לבין הליכה לאיבוד מכוון.

בין בגידה בערכים של נאמנות ונאמנות לערכי החופש.

בתוך התנועה הזו, גופה מתעורר יחד עם נפשה, ועם ההתעוררות באה גם הארוטיקה, לא כאפיזודה זניחה, אלא ככוח משנה חיים, כזה שמערער ומרפא, מטלטל ומדייק.

ענת טועה, מתפתה, נשאבת, בורחת, לומדת. זהו מסע אינטימי של התפרקות ובנייה מחדש, לא תמיד יפה, אבל תמיד חי.

ספר זה הוא החלק הראשון במסעה של ענת, כי המסע של ענת לא נגמר כאן. מה שנפתח, לא נסגר בקלות. בספר ההמשך, היא תידרש לבחור. בין גשרים שרופים לאהבות חדשות, בין קול פנימי שמבקש אמת לבין כל מה שמאיים להישבר שוב בדרך לשם.

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